Women are wonderful creatures...

minus the psychos.

So good bye about 90% of you ladies.

Of course guys aren't too much better, about 90% are abusive, douchebags, possessive, or simply unobservant.

Now, first of all I write to entertain, somewhat inform, and in general give people ideas. But this one is going to be a little bit different.

A few months ago I was fortunate enough to find a person who was not in that 90%. She doesn't play mind games nor does she do anything outrageous. She can sing, cook, dance, speak Spanish, and probably beat anybody's ass.

In all truth, this chick is too good for me and out of my league. I adore her and wouldn't change anything in the world (surprisingly, because I don't care for chicks with short hair, yet she makes it work). And so sometimes at night I sit around and try to figure out why she likes me so much. I compiled a short list:

1) We have a phenomenal friendship. Seriously we're pretty honest with each other and she finally told me everything, even with her actual prudishness that she hides. I tell her everything because I'd much rather her know my whole hand and not get hurt by me. So I tell her everything possible. Hands down, if she's not my best friend, she's damn close.

2) We have mutual friends. Most of the friends that like her also like me, and vice versa. This allows for "double dates."

3) I like sports and at least respect her teams or sympathize with them (typically respect the Penguins and Steelers, sympathize with the Pirates and Steelers this season). I'm a Redskins fan which... well I hate Dan Snyder. I'm also an Orioles fan. So luckily our teams don't really play much against each other. I actually am a Penguins fan.

4) I treat her as an equal. Actually, I probably compliment her too much and make her feel like a Goddess or as I would say "My Amazonian Princess." Seriously, I think she could kick Xena's and Wonder Woman's asses any day of the week. But I do respect her opinion and think highly of her as an individual.

5) I actually like her kids, even when they are being crazy. I'm an uncle to ten kids, and Godfather to three of them. I laugh at people when they ask me if the fact she has kids bother me. Try living with my family for a week, then you'll want to die.

6) I am affectionate with her, regardless or not if it's in public. There are a few exceptions to this: in front of her kids I show her little affection other than a hug, or... well hell I don't really know. My judgment thus far seems to be okay.

7) I compliment her. A lot. It probably annoys her slightly, but she deserves to know what I think about her.

8) I make fun of her. No no no, not to be a dick. I make fun of myself a lot too. And I love me a hell of a lot. I like to tease her, and she can dish it out well too. I also like it when she acts dumb just to mess with me. God bless her.

9) My friends ask about her. Yeah, that's right, people ask about her. "So who is this girl you're seeing now? When did you meet? What does she look like? How does she act? What's her shoe size? If you had to pick between her and getting a new car, which would you take?" Okay I made the last one up, nobody ever asked me that.

10) I look at her. Not just checking her out but when I look into her eyes.... it is like I seriously get lost in them. She looks at me the same way. I never really had that before. It's an intense feeling.

So yeah, I think those are the reasons why she likes me. Notice I mention nothing about my looks or my intellect... because 1) I'm just an average looking guy, who is overweight, and 2) I'm an intelligent guy, but man I say stupid things for a cheap laugh. I'm worse than that guy who came up with the "I sprayed my dog with spot remover. Now I can't find my dog, Spot."

So, my lady if you read this... hopefully it gave you a laugh or two, and made you smile.

Post script: I actually do hate that joke about spraying a dog with spot remover.

I am a fat bastard...

No seriously, I kind of am. So, I finally decided I should get in shape, seeing as how I miss never really needing sleep and being active as all hell (physically, not just socially). So this lazy piece of garbage is going to start working out again (since my ankle sprain is gone, finally) and trying to eat at least healthier. I say this all the time but this time I am going to try harder to stick with it and will monitor my progress on here for everyone to see. So here is my starting weight (with clothing and shoes) in the middle of the day. I will also try to get my blood pressure on here.

Blood pressure: 153/94 (the top number isn't too good for me, the bottom number is just slightly above the acceptable levels). The norm here is suppose to be at a max 140/90 but for those who wish to be safer you're looking at 130/80 or so.

Resting heart rate: 77 bpm (beats per minute). This actually isn't too bad for someone in their mid 20s. At least I got one thing for my fat ass.

Weight: 235 pounds. Now, yes that seems to be a lot, but I also have myself fully loaded here with heavy denim jeans and shoes. My weight without clothing tends to be around 225-227. However for psychological purposes, I want to know what I weigh at when I am heaviest.

I will try to weight myself and get my blood pressure under the same conditions within a roughly weekly period (around 2 or 3 pm, get my blood pressure taken, before a meal, or at least 2 hours after a meal), weigh myself with street clothes and after a meal (once again, for psychological effect on myself).

Tomorrow is the start of this program. We'll see what happens from there.

Random thoughts

Last night, a few conclusions:

1) I really hate people that I think are two-faced (I understand hypocrisy at times, but immensely hate lying) and do my best to not associate with them. I tolerate them to an extent, but last night after seeing a few people who I perceived as two-faced, I lost all desire to continue playing poker with my buddies. This led me to leaving the freeroll at the bar and go home. That in turn led me to...

2) I have a contempt for people making judgments without most or all of the facts. Don't be confrontational to me unless you have good reason. Last night someone confronted me in a fashion that was a little aggressive, but by all means understandable. It just makes me realize how stupid people can be when they let their emotions get the best of them, let alone how many mistakes anger can lead to... which brings me to...

3) The reason people seem to like me. I'm a pretty open-minded guy (usually) and can usually see both sides to the discussion at hand. Sure, people mistakes and hopefully they learn from them. I guess I am a realistic optimist, meaning that I hope for the best and look for it, but I accept whatever happens. I'm always doing my best to be true to myself, and it really makes me seem to be charismatic. The funny thing is I'm not really the most attractive guy physically, and I have a smart ass sense of humor. But honesty will always be appreciated (or so it seems).

4) I like tits and ass. I like seeing it. All day, every day.

That's about it.

The Day is Mine Trebek

I still haven't done that damn movie review... but here's the basic premise for I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell: the main character on which the movie is based on is named Tucker Max (who is the writer of the book which contains a lot of stories from his law school days, he also appears as the best man in the movie and his real number is given out in the movie). Tucker is an egotistical selfish man who does whatever he pleases. His two best friends accompany him on a journey to a strip club and that is where the fun begins...

The acting has a bunch of unknowns basically, but the overall acting quality is above average. The characters are all likable and it makes me wish I was there. I would give this a 7/10.

The plot is pretty straight forward and since I read the book I wasn't really surprised, but I did enjoy the little twists and the combination of stories to make the movie as a whole very entertaining. I would give this an 7/10, assuming for non-readers of the book.

The music and sound quality was superb, as it matched up well with everything; however, it is not perfection. 8.5/10.

Personal enjoyment: I loved every minute of it, so the tilt here is 10/10.

So that's about an 8/10. Worth going to see in the theater and probably worth buying on DVD. Of course this is a short review and I am basing it off from a few weeks ago.

In my personal life: Work and school have been keeping me really busy. This is my last week of writing papers for hopefully the rest of my academic life. I should graduate with an 3.9 GPA for my MBA/PA.

In terms of working, the last few weeks have been hectic, but at least I have been kept busy. I'd much rather be busy than bored.

And I also think I have what qualifies as a girlfriend. She's awesome, I find her adorable, and I care about her. Essentially, that's what really matters for now.

Also looking for investors to buy houses... now is the time to buy.

Until later, taddy-bye.

You can dance if you want to...

You can leave your friends behind...

but fuck that I'd much rather sing.

I sang at State College Idol on Wednesday. I figured I'd deal with the possible awkward situation that is my ex-girlfriend, being as flaky as she is, dating the MC, who basically looks like a Wallace and Gromit character. I cut off all communication with this chick, and I go up to sing: You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' by The Righteous Brothers. I believe we call this coincidence. I simply had watched a little Top Gun and it made me want to sing the damn song.

I am pretty sure I advanced, based on a text I got from someone I deleted out of my phone. 3rd place out of 15 or so people isn't bad. So if I somehow win this thing, which I won't, but if I do, that's $1000 and some recording time, as well as an opportunity to sing with a band.

Also may get into promoting and sales, at least in terms of helping out some friends. We'll see where this goes.

Personal life: I have an ideal situation. I graduate from schooling in about 4 weeks, and my job is peachy. Overall, a good thing.

Oh, and I saw the Tucker Max movie, so I'll write the movie review for it when I feel like it (probably tomorrow or Saturday).

And for the record, Ben Affleck was the shit in Phantoms yo.

The Housing Market

So I was checking out the prices of some homes. I was seeing homes that are being rented out (granted they are about an hour from State College) and are being sold for $36,000. Most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. So I am thinking about buying some of these cheap properties, getting my dad to help me fix them, then renting them all out for enough money to at least pay the mortgages. I don't have that high of an income, but hell I can get financed for $40,000.

I still think the housing market is slouching a bit, but I have noticed some new construction going on locally and that hasn't happened for awhile. The economy is bouncing back, albeit slowly.

Oh, and the stock market will crack and stay above 10,000 within a month. I'd bet money on it.

So, I was fucking Geena Davis...

and she was in a league of her own. As I gave her a last kiss goodnight, I realized she had left me speechless. Who says that earth girls are easy? Honestly, she was a tough one to crack as I felt like trying to hook up with her was like being stuck on Cutthroat Island. Perhaps the fly on the wall would be the only other one to know of our night.

By the way, if you haven't figured it out yet, I have included or alluded to six films. Other than Josh, because I know he'll get it, can you guys figure them out? That's the game.